It can creep up on you. Take you by surprise and lay you flat out.
That's how I felt today!
A little pretext. My wee girlie has been sick all week; fighting a fever and throat infection. So much fun for everyone! Um, yeah, not really! It's these times when I wish I could take all the pain & discomfort she is feeling into myself. But since that can't happen I do the next best thing and give her all the comfort & love that I possibly can. And while I dearly love every second, every hug, every cuddle, man it's exhausting! Top it off with restless nights, disrupted sleep schedules, work stress and I'm just done.
Today was my first full day this week at the office and I wish I could have skipped it altogether. After a 4 am wake up call to administer Tylenol, then a 5:30am wake up call to start the day, I was more than a bit tired by the time I arrived at the office at 8:30. I should also preface this by saying we have been very fortunate with the wee girlie...she has been a fantastic sleeper since the day she came home from the hospital. I'm a little spoiled I think so when faced with situations like this, I'm just not used to the sleep deprivation! The pic above is of my girlie when we were out enjoying a few minutes of sunshine earlier this week...only because she wasn't feeling well did she drag the blankie behind her...too cute!! I could have used a blankie for comfort today!
I managed to get through the day as did the little one. She actually ate today as well at the babysitter's house. This is something she hadn't done since Sunday night really (ate very, very little during the week). I teased Angela (babysitter) that perhaps it's my cooking & the food is better at her house. She assured me that couldn't be the case, but considering that she wasn't interested in eating tonight either, I have to wonder!!
The good thing is that the wee one is on the mend...thank goodness! I'm quite sure she is tired of being sick, and not to sound insensitive, hubby & I are feeling the same way! So many reasons to want her to get better! :-)
So tonight I hope for some good rest; for all of us!
The bright spot of my day today:
5:30am, changing her diaper on the change table, my wee girlie starts pumping her fists in the air as if to music singing in her hoarse little voice "Move it, move it". My smile was a mile wide! This was her signal that she would like to watch the Madagascar movie...her fav part is when the lemurs sing "I like to move it!"!!
I've been working for a while now at this next step I'm taking. It's a running challenge and it takes place this weekend. A Half Marathon here in Waterloo. Let's get to it!!
Training has gone pretty well over the past 9 weeks & I'm pleased with what I've been able to accomplish so far. This is the 2nd half marathon I will be participating in. The first was this past November and I surprised myself with my result. I managed to finish, with a complete run, no stops or walk breaks in approximately 2:16:00. Yay me! Considering I was aiming for a 2:30 finish I felt pretty darn good about that.
So of course, this time I must outdo myself! I always want to be better at something the more I do it...funny how that works. I'm sure a lot of you are the same way. Unfortunately, this does tend to put undue pressure on me, which can be stressful. I'm not so sure I successfully manage that all the time. Take for example the 10Miler race I competed in a few weeks ago. My goal was to complete it in 1:40:00. It took me almost 1:49:00 to finish. That's only 9 minutes extra right? Yeah, but psychologically for me during the race, the pressure I put on myself to be faster was too much. At one point I literally gave up, started walking and basically told myself I couldn't do this, might as well give up running!
Really?? What was I thinking? It took me 9 extra minutes. Get over it! The fact of the matter is I still ran 16 long km; isn't that an accomplishment in itself? Yes, yes it is. And I should be happy that I tried AND that I finished.
Where to go from here? Well, I certainly need a different attitude heading in to this next race. I still have goals. I would definitely like to get under the 2:15:00 mark to finish. That would make me very happy! But I'm not going to psych myself out with the numbers during the race. I will go out and run my race at the pace that I am comfortable with and be proud & satisfied that I am doing something that honestly I never thought I could, or would be able to do.
That's the best I can do....my best! I think that's a good step forward.
Well, here I am! About to lay it all out on the virtual line for the whole world to see...well as much of the world that will find this & read it I guess! I'm typically a PPP (pretty private person) in this world of acronyms.
So why change that?
Simple, but not so simple answer perhaps. Over the last few years I've been emerging I guess you could say! Coming out of that proverbial shell. This is one of those next steps for me; to journal some of my progress. I'm hoping that it will not only stimulate & motivate me to reach my goals, but perhaps share some advice & learnings with you!
Being the mother of 2 children so far apart in age, with no one in between is a fairly unique (at least I think, and I know not completely uncommon) family situation. There are lots of next steps here that might be worth talking about! And while babies/kiddies themselves haven't really changed, the world around them certainly has. I really feel like I am completely starting over in more ways than one!
My running journey has been slow (IMO anyway), but progress has been made. The ultimate step will be to complete the much dreamed about 42.2 km race known as the marathon. There are many steps between now & then that's for sure! I hope to be able to complete them all & perhaps motivate & inspire along the way.
So let's get started! Join me as I take my next steps, wherever they may lead!
